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Race for the bottom  
05:03pm 07/01/2008
 
 
Johnny Doormat
What the fuck is it with people these days, it's like everything is some kind of all singing all dancing competition to do the absolute least possible, seriously are these shit-dogs competing for the fat lazy fuck of the year award, is it like some badge of honor among the couch potato community or something? Is carrying that artery choking lardcicle wrapper another 4.38 meters to the bin really that much of a chore that you have to drop it where you stand before the effort involved causes the friction between your 16 pound fingers to lead to spontaneous combustion before it either gutters out on the rivulets of skanky grease sweat or you go up like a candle because of the fat that's leached straight off your ass into your muʻumuʻu.

I swear to god it never stops, if you can cut some corner (at someone else's expense) people will cue around the god damn block. From prepacked meals and takeaways which should come with a skull and crossbones on the box so you can save a few minutes now (and a few minutes later) to the lack of reading the actual ingredients list on what you're eating (which if you understood might give some pause) I'm almost glad you'll die sooner, but it still sucks for the people that care that air goes in and out and blood goes round and round for you, so the suck/awesome ratio would probably be shithouse, you know, on balance.

Maybe Jesus is wishing he could take a few things back, or maybe ask dad to add a new commandment or two. I can imagine it now, XI; I didn't make you do it. XII; I don't need theme parks.

Whats up next, these shrink wrapped kids and their helicopter parents are pissing me off pretty good right now but if I make fun of them they'll probably cry, either of them. But seriously, if your kid can't handle a no or a failure by the time they're 12 something is seriously fucking wrong in the axon cabana yo, you have kids so insulated from failure that one thing goes wrong and they off themselves because they can't handle it, and the idea that they're not automatically entitled to something or can be lost or has an effect beyond their me-dar are like alien fucking concepts. Who's brilliant idea is that shit, no-one succeeds all the time and real world studies show quite clearly that ignorance of a situation is no protection from the reality of the situation.

Quite frankly kids need to fall over, off their bikes, on their asses and eat some really shit tasting flowers after they've been told not too. Call me an ass if you want but if they don't learn to pick themselves up after something minor then the first major failure is going to blow their unprepared little rose colored fluff wrapped mind. This think-of-the-children celebrate mediocrity crap is now going all the way up to university and it shows, you don't get to interview over and over until you get the job, you just don't get the job, so why reinforce such a distorted idea into kids on the way up. Is it really ok to tell them they didn't do well enough so they need to pull finger? I mean I'm not for facing the corner with a dunce cap humiliation but please be fucking realistic, you see these vicario-parents yelling at the teacher because little Timmy is still eating the paste unless he's in a straight jacket and they just can't accept that they haven't spawned a prodigy who'll perform a groundbreaking major cardiothoracic surgery before they gets pubes. Then again you can get some miraculous shit from some pretty barren ground so there's always hope.

Better curtail this textwall before it gets out of hand or I blow my carotid or something.
 
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